Soul Story or Personal Story: Your Choice
Soul Story or Personal Story: Your Choice
November 9, 2012
I believe the cosmic frequencies are accelerating and amplifying. Many describe the shift as Ascension. Frankly, the title does not matter to me. What matters is that I make a daily intention to live my life from the perspective of my soul story and let go of my personal story. Both stories co-exist.
Today I feel like an artist of life who is busy co- creating a new gestalt. The foreground comprises my expanding soul story and the background includes my limited, personal story. Each time I act from a soul perspective, I flourish. When I act from my limited personal story, I create drama and suffering. The results of my choices feel instantaneous while only a few years ago the consequences required more time to manifest. Time itself feels like it is accelerating.
When I align my energy and actions with the perspective of my soul story, I risk being bigger than I thought possible. For example, several years ago, I obeyed a soul calling when I moved from South Portland, Maine to Arroyo Seco, New Mexico, with my 17-year-old daughter. We knew nobody in New Mexico. Most of my friends and family thought I was out of my mind to leave my birth state and travel so far away. Nothing about my decision made sense; yet I knew with every cell in my body that my choice was connected to my soul’s evolution.
During my second month in my adopted state, I attended a large conference on healing in Santa Fe. I spotted a woman who felt familiar to me from across the room. She looked up and we giggled. At break time, we found each other and hugged. Then she surprised me by asking, “What’s your story, sister?”
Without planning what I might say in advance, I shared the story of my recent move to New Mexico. I ended the saga by confessing that I still did not know the purpose of my move—only its rightness. Then I took a deep breath and whispered, “I think my soul has plans for growing me up.”
“Your turn, sister,” I said laughing.
Without hesitation she told me how she had recently quit her stressful job as head nurse in an intensive care unit because she no longer felt fulfilled and she yearned for freedom. She too had no clue about her next steps although she knew in her heart that she had made the right choice.
I nodded and hugged her, appreciating that we had both responded to our evolving soul story. Although neither of us had lived into our answers yet, we were both more comfortable with the unknown territory of our soul story than the narrow perspective of our human story.
Last April I stepped out of my personal story and left my grandchildren and daughter to participate in my second vision quest. Once again my soul called me back to New Mexico after a fifteen-year absence. I was ready to learn more about what the future was asking from me. The three days and nights outside on the side of a mountain were personally challenging. However, the agreement I made to the reclaim my role of being a teacher and to step into the role of leader felt huge. Before I trekked down the mountain, I committed to reminding people about the intimate interconnection between energy, frequency, intention, dimensions, and wisdom.
During the next four months I designed the seven-month course called Embodying Soul. Occasionally, I heard the doubting voice of my personal story that reminded me of the scarcity economy, nobody was really interested in what I desired to teach, and I was wasting my time. My favorite personality strategy was the declaration that I was doing a spiritual bypass.
Nevertheless, I persisted. Dare I share that the 7 month course that meets for three days in Florida in January, three days in New Mexico in April and three days in Maine in July is almost filled?
Three months after my vision quest in New Mexico, I listened to my destiny path, or soul story again, and wrote a check for a one-month residential artist retreat at Starflower Farm in Monroe, Maine.
The only thing I knew for sure was that I yearned to experience silence, solitude, and immerse myself in Nature and my creative process. No interruptions except those that I provided. However, a month seemed extravagant and scary to me. To satisfy the curiosity of my friends and family, I said that I planned to experiment with combining clay and stone. In reality, I had no clue what I was being called to do or become. I knew from experience the meanings would not surface until I surrendered deeper and deeper.
I became entranced by the idea of making rattles the third day of my retreat. I understood instinctively that creating clay rattles was linked to my soul story. Yet my personality story erupted and challenged me to question if my passion for designing rattles was my way of avoiding learning how to throw pots on the wheel. I persisted and made more rattles. After I had crafted a few dozen rattles, each with its own essence, I surprised myself by doubting my own knowing. I entertained thoughts that I was wasting my time and energy making something that didn’t matter, had no value, and nobody would even like. The familiar family voice demanded to know why.
That night I dreamed of rattles, I heard the sounds of rattles in my sleep, I drew pictures of rattles, and I even channeled a poem about rattles:
Rattles as sound smudges,
Rattles as grounding instruments
Rattles as timeless as eternity,
Rattles as inducers of altered consciousness,
Rattles as healing sounds and shapes
Rattles as shape shifters
Rattles as ritual containers,
Rattles as echoes from home.
In order to gather support to continue expanding my soul story and add a sense of harmony to my energy field, I asked Squidge Davis, my teacher, if she thought I was “going nowhere” with my rattle making. She smiled and said softly but with determination,
“Rosie, rattles are one of the most ancient archetypal images. If they are calling you, I advise you to listen. If you are attracted to creating rattles, why question your motivation?”
For three weeks I concentrated on making more rattles of different shapes, different textures, different sounds, different vibrations, different colors. It is November. Four months have passed since my retreat and I continue to create rattles. One thing I know now that escaped me in the summer months is that they are energy rattles. I brought rattles to my workshops and used some in my healing session. I have given rattles away as gifts and strangers have bought others.
“How are they connected with my soul story?” you might ask.
My response is, I do not know yet. I do know that I enjoy collaborating with the clay, which is earth, to create sound and beauty. I do know that the rattles affect frequency and I do not need to know more.
I believe that the upgraded cosmic light frequency, which pulsates through us, links us to soul purpose and a deeper engagement with our eternal Identity. The challenge becomes how to integrate and harmonize our ego identity. One thing I know for sure is that compassion remains part of my soul story and judgment, blame and shame are no longer an option.
When I act on Ram Dass’s advice to Be Love Now, my soul rejoices. I do not need to know anything about why or even the future. I am present for the evolving story. As I collaborated with the earth to make rattles, love led. Even now as I touch and look at the earth rattles, my heart opens and love accelerates. That is all I know and all I need to know. Yes!
Photos by Ed Rosenberg